Interpreting Dreams

From my mailbag: August 9, 2009

I receive numerous requests to interpret dreams, and I try to answer each and every one of them. It’s important to remember that I really know very little about the person except what they write about their dreams. I can do so much more if I know something about the writer, the age, gender, occupation, family status, etc. Since almost all of the letters I receive ask me about the meaning of their dreams without any other information, whatever I write should not be taken as the only possible meaning. I do try and visualize the dreams as written to me and find a meaning for them. In all cases, I have changed the name of the writer to protect his/her privacy:
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“Dear Stephen: I have a nightmare about once a month. I am in a convertible car driving on a clear day. For some reason I am on a mountain road near Memphis and my steering wheel freezes. I go over the side of the road and am killed. When I wake up, I am covered with sweat. Can you help me get rid of this dream? Alex”

Dear Alex: You say that in your dreams you are killed. This is extremely rare. When we face death in our dreams we normally get a sharp sinking feeling that wakes us up. A car going over a cliff is not an uncommon way to die in a dream, and normally it represents a feeling of extreme insecurity. You are going someplace but you are afraid you’ll never get there. I will assume you either live near Memphis or did live near there when you were younger. The waking-up in a cold sweat is symptomatic of great anxiety: You are trying to get someplace (possibly an economic goal since you’re driving a convertible; a symbol of wealth and success) but you are afraid you will not be able to get there or you fear what may be at the end of the road. Dying seems less confrontational than continuing on the road until it ends. To get rid of this dream you will have to recognize what the goal is at the end of the road. When you do this, not only will goal seem easier to reach, but you may find you’re almost there. There are many things in life that you can’t control…including what may be at the end of the road you are travelling. If you take the time to analyze and think about it when you are awake, I believe the dream will no longer be a problem. Best of luck.

Stephen Ellis
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“Dear Stephen: I am ten weeks pregnant. I woke up this morning with a startle. In my dream my fiancé was leaving me for one of my ex friends. In my dream, he didn't even care that I was going to keep our son if he was leaving. What does this mean? Megan”

Dear Megan: As much as our “modern” world has accepted single parenthood or having a child without a legal mate, there is still somewhat of a stigma attached to it. While this stigma now rarely attaches to the child (being the child of an unmarried parent now seems to be socially accepted), the stigma still attaches to the mother. Our society and customs are imbued with religiously inspired laws and traditions that an unmarried mother still has to overcome. There is not only the economic problem of providing support for the child, but in many areas of America, the mother is still thought of as a wanton woman who should be forced to wear a scarlet “A” on her chest. As much as we have come to accept living-together as a normal thing for engaged couples, there is always the unconscious or hidden fear that the marriage will never happen; that the child will not have a legal father, etc. This is what your dream is expressing: that hidden fear. Granted that more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce, there is still a certain safety and comfort zone when a couple makes it legal. The fear of the possibility that the child’s father may walk-away and leave you and your child stranded is very real. Even if your fiancé has assured you of his intention to marry you, I would have a heart-to-heart with him. What you do with your life is for you to decide. But now, another person has been added to the equation and responsibilities will increase significantly. If you have that heart-to-heart with your fiancé, I believe your nightmare will disappear.

Stephen Ellis

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“Dear Stephen: I have read your blogs about dreams and wondered if you can help. I keep dreaming about my dead aunt. I never met her when she was alive but I’ve seen pictures of her. In my dreams she keeps telling me to be careful of a gold halo. I have this dream almost every night. Vilu.”

Dear Vilu: As you should know by now, I am a firm believer in “past lives” and “ghosts”. Despite the lack of “scientific proof”, I feel strongly that the evidence is overwhelming that ghosts exist and that we have all lived before and will live again. Your Aunt may be in that special place where people go waiting to be born again, and she can see things in your aura that you may not be aware of. Clearly, although you never met her, I’d bet that she appears to you in your dreams in far greater detail than any photo you have ever seen of her. Her voice would be totally recognizable to you if you were to hear her speaking. She feels deeply about you as the child of her brother or sister. I strongly suspect that she can see some very significant financial rewards for you in the future, but is trying to warn you about someone interfering with you career. I believe the gold halo represents the financial strength she expects you to attain, and her warning tells you to be careful of someone who may want to take that halo for themselves. While dreams are, usually, not “precognitive” (foreseeing the future in great detail), they can be extremely “intuitive” (foreseeing the future, in general). Your Aunt seems to want to communicate with you. Perhaps a hypno-therapist can help put you into a state where you can actually communicate with her. It has been known to work.

Stephen Ellis

Write me about your dreams. Your privacy will be respected. If I publish your letter in my blog, your identity will not be revealed. Write me at stebrel@aol.com